After weeks of much writing and debating with myself, I have decided to post my daily journal in a blog for the entire world to read. How narcissistic of me to think the world cares about my inner struggles?! Quite the contrary, I am compelled to write this blog out of the loneliness and isolation that define my life… feelings by which I am especially plagued during those introspective moments of journaling. You see, as a psychiatry resident I have learned much too well that the sadness, isolation, and suffering I have experienced in my life are not unique to me... my internal struggle is not my own but rather a struggle with which many can relate. Without a doubt, members of my generation (Gen X b.1965-1979) and that of my siblings' (Gen Y b.1980-1997), certainly share similar feelings seeing as how we were raised by the same overindulgent, constantly praising baby boomer parents. (I'll discuss the significance of this in a future blog.). I am tired of suffering quietly and alone. I have tried reaching out to those around me, but conveniently I have surrounded myself with a wall of emotionally shallow and emotionally guarded individuals (with my boyfriend possessing the best of both of these maladaptive traits… but that’s another story for another day). So here it is - the first post of a blog with which I hope to reach out and try to find other individuals in this world who like me lead what on the outside appear to be successful, put together lives but who on the inside are an emotional mess… unhappy with their lives but unsure how to get the life they really want … maybe even unsure what the life they really want looks like.
In this blog, I will look back down the path I have traveled in an effort to better understand how I ended up where I am in hopes that along the way I will figure out where I want to go and how to get there. I desperately want to hear about the experiences of others... I want to hear your stories and your struggles and your thoughts. Maybe together we can help each other along on this journey they call life.
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?... Am I wrong?
And you may say to yourself
My God what have I done?!
- Excerpt from the Talking Heads’ song “Once in a Lifetime”
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